Write 101 Day 8 [Run and Find]

Wednesday 11th June 2014

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Go to a local café, park, or public place and report on what you see. Get detailed: leave no nuance behind. Today’s twist: write an adverb-free post. If you’d rather not write a new post, revisit and edit a previous one: excise your adverbs and replace them with strong, precise verbs.

 http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_assignment/writing-101-day-eight/

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Write 101 – Death of Adverbs. My story based on a small part of the New Forest, UK.

Day 8

Words 586

Gaa/C June 2014.

They ran along the small path that followed the river, winding and twisting. Some places it diverted into the wood and eventually finding its way back to the river’s edge. By-passing the bramble bushes and fallen trees, tree roots ready to trip them. On the path edge gorse trying to prick them, and the fern making their movement difficult. But they managed to reach the bridge.

The shadows of the trees and bridge railings casting long shadows. The day drawing to close.

The wooden bridge spanned the river, the railings had just been repaired or replaced, as had many of the wooden walk boards. The bridge was now a firm steady and good-looking bridge. They both stopped and looked back, and then around at their position. The sun making both squint when looking back from where they had come. The path they had traversed was now clear, and all was quiet. It was then a bush was whipped aside and the ferns were being brushed aside, they could also hear splashing of water.

The taller of the women grabbed the others hand and ran to the end of the bridge, and on clearing it they ran left, across a large piece of grassland, and into a mass of gorse. The bushes were large and tightly packed. The risk of being scratched badly was very high, but they knew by keeping going this gorse would help their escape. Dark green spikes make the yellow flower of the gorse shine bright, with the sun hitting them made the flowers very dazzling. This and the shadows helped in making the two women invisible, they hoped. They ran until they came upon a small copse, when inside they found a large tree, a large oak. Trying to climb it they discovered it to be hollow, no need for words they both gathered some bracken and brush and covered the hole and hid inside. The smaller of the two clambered up inside the trunk and about fifteen feet up she found a hole. She managed to perch herself safely and kept a look out. From her hiding place she could see the bluebell floor and the others trees, mostly evergreen, tall and proud. She could see the path that led them to this tree. Nerves were jangling, when the smaller of the two women said “They are coming I can hear them.”

The roughness of the trunk was biting into her bare feet, wincing but making sure she did make a sound. They could hear the crunching of the bracken and the chatter of voices and the sound of excited barking getting closer.

“I can see them stay quiet.”

Both the woman held their breath, nerves getting the better of them, trembling took over. The woman high in the trunk was hurting badly, her feet starting to bleed, but she refused to let go, refused to make a sound.

The sounds around them were getting louder, the tree was not muting the excited hunters, five minutes then ten passed and silence fell on the area. Just when the women thought the danger had passed the bracken and brush was pulled away uncovering the hole in the tree and discovering the two woman.

“Found you.” said a male voice, a dog leapt on to the taller woman and started licking her hands and face, tail wagging.

She clambered out of the tree and hugged her dad, “We are getting better at this.” they both laughed and hugged each other in turn.

Gaa/C© 11th June 2014

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17 Comments

Filed under Challenges, Personal, Uncategorized, What-ever!

17 responses to “Write 101 Day 8 [Run and Find]

  1. Beautiful descriptions. I could almost hear the river and smell the wild flowers!

  2. Trish

    This was a good piece of writing. I’ve never done an exercise like this, avoiding the use of adverbs, but I must say it makes your writing sharp and the picture is more vivid. I’m going to try it myself.

    • Thank you Trish I am not sure if I succeeded though, but I still liked it.. and makes me happy knowing that you enjoyed it.. I just thought I would try this challenge and so far so good. 20 in total.. welcome always… 😉

  3. Wonderful writing. Gerry. 🙂

  4. Lovely story. I also did this one and am going to put it in my blog right now. Yours is very clear and interesting to read. Thanks for sharing it

  5. This was really cute, Gerry. We got all the excitement of true suspense in the face of danger, but then a happy, humorous ending. Perfect.

  6. I just discovered I have not bee “following” this particular blog. I am “following” now, so maybe I won’t miss so many of your posts in the future. I really like the Porch blog best of all, and I guess I had been watching for that one all the time and forgot about watching for the others. I’ll do better.

    • No problem and thanks Sandra, I had not used this one since October,, this challenge gave me the opportunity to revive it,, have enjoyed doing so.. welcome and thanks..

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